Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...

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(847): View more from Illinois

I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.

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(406): View more from Montana

Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.

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(650): View more from California

I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.

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(801): View more from Utah

He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.

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(854): View more from

i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews

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(216): View more from Ohio

I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.

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