Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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