she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
