We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
