I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
