Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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