So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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