yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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