Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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