I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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