You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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