try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize