Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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