Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
this boner is exhausting
I understand Curling. That high.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
