My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
