What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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