Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
