new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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