I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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