Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
im holly from the hills drunk
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize