My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
