Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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