I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
