I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize