i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
