Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
