I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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