Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
