"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
