ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize