I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
