Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
