it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
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