Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
