That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
