it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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