He kissed a someone with a penis
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
