I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
