after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
