Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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