no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
