The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
