Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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