I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
