I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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