I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
