The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
