Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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