so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize