I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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