Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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