used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
