Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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