Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
