sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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