we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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