I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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