smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
