I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
