she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize