For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
