After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
