This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
