it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
